My Life Story
I have always seen myself as a mystic, for as far back as I can remember I knew how to meditate and turn my internal dialog off without effort. Also gifted in the art of dreaming, I spent many a day recalling my nightly adventures. As a wee child I had an “imaginary” friend, who I much later in life discovered was an ascended master who was watching over me, as I grew up in a family that didn’t understand me.
My formal esoteric training began in the late 1970’s, at the age of 28 when I left my marriage and began working with two psychics, who educated me about the chakra system and Theosophy. I gorged myself on the writings of Blavatsky, Krishna Murdi, and Alice Baily. Then in 1980 I met a man who I apprenticed with for a year and learned the foundational teachings of Western esoteric thought; western Kabala, spiritual alchemy, tarot, astrology, and the Order of the Golden Dawn, plus an introduction to the Medicine Wheel.
After a year of this, I felt a need to balance my education and set off on my own to independently study the ancient European Goddess cults, Women’s mysteries, and Moon mysteries. From there I studied and integrated the teachings of Taoism in my life.
During the 1980’s I also studied Buddhism, Gurdjieff, and Osho, while also being initiated into Reiki I and II.
Also, during this time, after a couple of months of practicing Kundalini Yoga, my own Kundalini erupted, giving me a classic awaking, with an orgasm in my head. Although this awakening shifted my perception of reality forever, I can’t say that it sent me into Samadhi. It just seemed like another step along my journey called life.
All the while, I supported myself as a silversmith, specializing in pierced, esoteric designs. Then in the late 80’s I went through a profound transformation that lasted three years. I knew astrologically what was happening, so I was not really concerned. However, during this time I was plunged into the void, and saw my ego literally dissolve, and then be rebuilt into someone else. Fortunately, I was living alone, and spending money my grandfather had given me, which enabled me to muddle through without being bothered by anyone. When I ended this period of my life, I could not relate to making jewelry, and in fact, could not really remember doing it at all. So I knew I had to make a career decision, and I chose to pursue healing work. I apprenticed for a year and earned my Reiki Master degree, and during that time met my Native American teacher.
My teacher had studied with Native American elders all over the country for seven years, many of who were well known such as Wallace Black Elk, Twyla Nitch, and Brook Medicine Eagle, and others who were not famous. I began doing healing sessions and pipe work with her and my apprenticeship simply, organically grew out of our time spent together. Although we were not members of any tribe, my Native education was what you would call traditional.
I learned about and experienced the Sacred Pipe, Medicine Wheel, Sweat Lodge, prayer ties, grounding with Mother Earth, how to live in Right Relationship with all our Relations, along with a new chakra system for healing that included a galactic opening way above the crown and the soul chakra a little above the crown. I also learned about the transpersonal chakra that resides below the base chakra, between the thighs, and the importance of the feet chakras for grounding. During the time I spent with my teacher, I participated in many clearings of past lives and ancestral energies, along with several initiations. When that apprenticeship ended, I became a Sacred Pipe carrier, and then the Seven Sacred Directions told me that I would now be apprenticing with them. That was 1994, and it is still going on.
Pilgrimage to Great Britain
About a year after a debilitating psychic attack, the Guardians told me that they wanted me to go on pilgrimage to Great Britain. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, because at that time I could hardly walk around the block. How in the world would I be able to backpack in a foreign country? They told me that it was very possible and they would show me everything I needed to do to prepare. So for a year, following their advise, I practiced on a Nordic Track to rebuild my physical stamina. I also began studying about the archeo-astronomy of England and Scotland’s stone circles, attire to bring, and my 1996 pilgrimage route. (Archeo-astronomy tells how the ancients worked with the heavens in their architecture, megaliths and city layouts)
My main goal while I was in Great Britain was to do ceremony at many sacred sites and bond with the land. The month I spent there was truly a magical adventure (but that’s another story). I couldn’t tell how much I had changed while I was on pilgrimage, but when I returned home, I was totally amazed that I couldn’t recognize where I lived! The trip also transformed me into a state of incredible inner peace that has lasted to this day.
Other Mystical Experiences of Importance
During my life, I’ve had three other mystical experiences that have deeply shaped who I am today.
The first one happened sometime in the mid 90’s. I was sitting in my living room when the floor suddenly opened, revealing a deep, dark pit. I was plunged into the pit and within it felt all of the agony and suffering of humanity. Just as I felt I couldn’t stand it any longer, I was catapulted up into the sky. Here I heard celestial choirs, saw Divine brilliance and felt an all-embracing love that was indescribable. As I looked down, I saw thousands of pinpoints of light and knew in an instant that there really was a Divine Plan and all those lights were people, all part of the Divine Plan. I spotted one that I knew to be mine and in an instant was back in my body. I was left with the word Quetzalcoatl. Although I knew this word had something to do with my vision, I didn’t have a clue as to what or who it was. My search, eventually led to the work of John Major Jenkins and the Mayan Calendar, so in 1995 began studying it intensely.
The second mystical experience happened in the late ’90’s sometime after my return from Great Britain. The Guardians told me they wanted me to work with the sacred pipe to help me release a part of my ego that was preventing me from moving forward in my inner work. As I began the ceremony, I spontaneously brought in Mother Meera, a living avatar who I had heard about, but never worked with. As I began feeling like I was being pulled out of my body, I realized I had made a “mistake”, and I was very grateful when the pipe suddenly went out.
As I sat contemplating what had just happened, a vision of Mother Meera came to me and told me the best thing I could do, was to lie down. As soon as I did, I felt her hands working on me and was plunged into a twilight dimension. Not really asleep, but not really awake either. There I stayed for a couple of hours as I went from one experience to another. The most important one was in India, where Mother Meera gave me Darshan. When I awoke, I had a split consciousness. Part of it was in the heavenly realms looking down on myself in the room, and the other was still in my body. It was a very odd experience and feeling that lasted probably a week, before becoming integrated into my Being. The Guardians told me that she had brought me into a state of total Self-actualization that shifted my perception of reality forever.
The third was actually a series of blissful heart openings occurring over a period of months in 2015 that culminated with a mystical experience permanently carrying me across the veil of Maya.
It happened as I was going down a flight of stairs. In mid step I seemed to go through a portal, piercing the veil of Maya. When my foot came down on the next step I sensed I was on the other side of the veil. As I looked back from where I came, I saw a vast panorama of world drama, and knew that I was once more being beckoned away from the global dream.
As I proceeded to the woods I received another vision and knowing…to enjoy the flowers, leaves of the trees, Nature to the fullest because life on this planet is but a fleeting moment, a blink of an eye and then it’s gone.
Processing this experience has been challenging because all my reference points about life have shifted…everything I previously learned about the truth of existence is no longer valid. As the months have passed I have found myself in a new state of Beingness. One that has allowed me to fully embrace the present moment, live with joy & laughter while being totally detached from world and personal drama. And I seem to have acquired a new skill…people have told me that while in my Presence they too, at least temporarily, are able to experience this mystical state.
In the spring of 2011, I completed two years of spiritual retreat with the first very secluded, as I only left the house for groceries and mail. Out of my alone time came a calling to develop a cross-cultural, shamanic apprenticeship. So during the second year, I was engrossed in developing my program that is now available to students.
All of these experiences, plus the psychic abilities that I have developed over the years:
- Clairaudience: ability to hear spirits
- Clairsensitiveness: ability to sense spirits
- Keen Intuition
- Mediumship: ability to give messages from the spirit realm
- Clairalience: the ability to smell other dimensional odors
Have helped me walk along my spiritual path with ease, empower my Spiritual Healing, and Astrological clients, and train my Shamanic Apprenticeship students to work with the spirits of nature in Right Relationship.